FAMILY AND COMPANIONS
balancing relationships abroad
Living abroad can change the balance of emotional support in a relationship. It is the grantee who bears the greatest responsibility for ensuring that this period abroad is positive and rewarding for companions as well. The U.S. Foreign Service offers some good suggestions for long-distance relationships at https://www.state.gov/m/dghr/flo/c64607.htm
Sharing experiences together in a different culture can make relationships stronger and richer. On the other hand, there are conditions that can put a serious strain on a relationship. Significant others seldom share your purpose for being in Spain, and are likely to be putting personal, academic interests, and/or professional progress on hold. Employment opportunities for non-EU members are extremely limited except for teaching English. Furthermore, companions often have less opportunity to make social contacts, and may not be used to feeling dependent. The level of experience living abroad, and in particular in a foreign language, maybe an important determinant of the quality of your spouse’s (as well as your!) experience.
“Spouse survival” may begin with preparation in Spanish language and culture before departure for Spain, but it includes many other aspects that continue throughout the stay in Spain. (The section on Living in a Different Culture of this Guide will likely be helpful to your spouse as well!) You should be prepared to take some extra time soon after arrival to help make sure that your family feels settled in and involved. Although you cannot and should not try to do everything for your family, continual support is a terribly important investment in a relationship. When you establish a working routine, set aside time to be with your family.
Children
Children are a central part of Spanish life. They attract everyone’s attention and play a visibly important role in social activities – during the day and into the late evening, and in all places: parks, leisurely sessions in the cafés and in restaurants. Children who know little or no Spanish often feel shy about communicating with others in a new environment, but with encouragement at home they will learn quickly and enjoy expressing themselves. Spaniards are very warm toward children, in public and private settings; they often initiate interactions with them and try to make them feel at ease.
Activities for children are basically the same, although in comparison, organized sports are less common here than in the U.S. Your local branch of the Ministry of Education will have information. Urban guides and the telephones 010 and 012 have information on swimming pools, ice and roller skating rinks, and bowling alleys. Children will also enjoy celebrations of local saints’ days and holidays, which usually involve great displays of pageantry in the streets and squares.
Local schools are usually best for younger children, even if they speak little or no Spanish at first. Normal school life is the best way for them to learn the language. Local schools provide the opportunity to take a more active role in school activities and make friends with children who live in the same neighborhood. You may want to visit some of the local schools before actually settling into a neighborhood. Both costs and policies at different schools vary considerably. Remember, a child must be empadronado (in the municipal registry) in order to have access to one of the municipal guarderías (nursery school/daycare centers).
You can choose from both public and private schools. Public schools include both ordinary state schools and concertados, which receive state support and are subject to similar regulations as those of state schools, but charge some fees. (Most concertados are Catholic, but they are open to people of all religions and reflect a range of approaches from liberal to conservative, and in many of these schools religion has only a marginal influence on the curriculum.) Enrollment in public schools may involve more paperwork. Private schools may have smaller classes and offer a better student/teacher ratio, and they may provide specialized instruction for English speaking students as well, but the expense of private schools can be excessive, particularly since the quality of most public schools is high.
As in the United States, pedagogical methods vary considerably among Spanish schools, and even in different classrooms within the same schools. Traditional, textbook-based teaching is common, but some teachers use original, preparation-intensive, project-based methods. Homework assignments can be heavy even in early elementary school — so much so that Spanish parents have begun to organize to press for a lighter workload.